Monday, November 30, 2009

Funny Wedding Pictures

I've always dreamed of an out of space wedding - Star Trek Wedding

Another one, this time Star Wars

Wonder what he is up to?

The only way he'll get married - stoned!

Wow lucky me!

Shotgun wedding?

Hey... my dress

Guess how long this marriage will last

And finally a word to the wise....

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Lessons From A Dog's Life

If a dog was your teacher, you would learn stuff like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On hot days, drink lots of water, and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around, and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you're not.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

When you are having a bad day, lick your balls.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Strange Toothpaste Ad

This toothpaste advertisement says it all

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Procrastinator's Creed

You may wish to delay reading this until you have more free time.

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.

2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.

3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possiblity for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.

6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.

7. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

8. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.

9. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.

10. I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Some Kind Of Logic

If your father is a poor man, it is your fate. But if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity.

I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

Since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until you hear them speak.

How come "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa.

One should love animals. They are so tasty.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Stupid Signs

You have been warned

Will any brains do?

Yes that is the least you can do ... YELL!

Be sure to use the right camera

They must really hate soccer

Cause there is no where to put the coin in

Being big has its advantages

Keep it close

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Journey Of A Man

When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.

When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything.
Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 30, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now, and am looking for a girl with big tits.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

How Many On A Motorbike?

What a load

Five on a bike

Eight people must be a record

Who needs a car anyway?

Sometimes one is too many
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