Friday, March 18, 2011

Dictionary For Decoding Women's Personal Ads:

40-ish................................49.

Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.

Athletic...............................No breasts.

Average looking....................Moooo.

Beautiful..............................Pathological liar.

Emotionally Secure..............On medication.

Feminist..............................Fat.

Free spirit............................Junkie.

Friendship first......................Former slut.

New-Age..............................Body hair in the wrong places.

Old-fashioned.......................No BJs.

Open-minded.......................Desperate.

Outgoing..............................Loud and Embarrassing.

Professional.........................Bitch.

Voluptuous..........................Very Fat.

Large frame.........................Hugely Fat.

Wants Soul mate.................Stalker.

1 comment:

  1. LOL... once many, many, m a n y years ago I placed an ad in a singles magazine. Thinking I was being funny and clever, my opening line was something like:

    COMPLICATED, DIFFICULT, SELF EMPLOYED FEMALE

    I got seven responses, all letters, all from men who were incarsarated!! LOL.. Keri

    ReplyDelete

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