Still Alive
9 years ago
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"I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." - Gloria Steinem "Marriage is a lot lik...
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Jim died. His will provided $40,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Sharon turned to her ol... -
There are only ten times in history when the F-word has been considered acceptable for use. They are as follows: 1. "What the f*ck do y...
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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning....
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The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on...
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Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?" Peo...
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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It o...
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When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I ne...
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If your father is a poor man, it is your fate. But if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. I was born intelligent - ed...
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I cannot attest to their accuracy...But aren't they hilarious? Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I w...
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Quotes From Mae West12 years ago
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