Still Alive
9 years ago
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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It o...
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Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling the AAA i...
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TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT MY PETS: (1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair ...
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If your father is a poor man, it is your fate. But if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity. I was born intelligent - ed...
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Jim died. His will provided $40,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife Sharon turned to her ol... -
Don't Say You Have Not Been Warned Watch Out For Policemen Not Meant For Dancing Take It Down Then No No No.... Good Advice We just have... -
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I ne...
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Women might be able to fake orgasms, But men can fake whole relationships." - Sharon Stone "I saw a heavy woman wearing a sweatsh...
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1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning....
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There's nothing worse than a doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients....
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Quotes From Mae West12 years ago
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